I was feeling super high after Cabaret de Caliente’s Burlesque Valentine to Led Zeppelin — a show that was special to me because Zeppelin is one of my all time favorite bands and I gave what I felt was a tremendous performance after a lot of hard work and rehearsals.
I received props from fellow performers and audience members and felt like I had achieved something really special being vulnerable, sexy and exciting on stage and producing a show so fabulous people walked out glowing and posted their thanks days later.
And then I saw this comment about a pic of me posted after the show:
“Is that a girl or a man in drag? Most flat chested exotic dancer I’ve ever seen…”
I’m a 39 year-old woman with two sons, old enough to know better than to trash talk other women (or anyone)!
Initially I chose to take the high road and instead of calling this woman out, I invited her to come see a future show so she can appreciate the sexuality of all types of people. But honestly, that hurt!
Perhaps she thinks it’s easy to take your clothes off and entertain a room full of people?
I can’t begin to fathom what would motivate her to publicly post something negative about a complete stranger. Experience has taught me that words like these stem from insecurities and I’m tremendously thankful that I’ve had the love and support of friends, family, fans and my children to work through many of mine and show my true self onstage.
It breaks my heart when women do not support eachother, there are enough barriers to happiness in the world. It may seem small, but this insensitivity supports a culture comfortable with stereotypes and segregation. And that is straight not OK with me.
So here it is: if you have criticism that could help improve my performance, connect deeper with my audience, excite them more, send them home with shivers, etc., please drop me a line or say it to my face. If all you have to say is something negative about my body that gives you the illusion of superiority, you can stuff it.
I love that Modern Burlesque celebrates people of all body types, performance backgrounds and sexual orientations. Perhaps you were an Exotic Dancer in a time where there was less flexibility and freedom, or you just plain think bigger boobs are sexier. I hope that you can be happy for growth in culture and Burlesque that celebrates the sexuality of more types of people — the more positive sexual energy in the world the better for all!
Even if you don’t think my body is sexy (which is fine, really), plenty of men and women find both my body and my dance very sexy. They’ve told me so and continue coming to my performances, hooray for variety! To be clear, live performance is my art form – please do come see my show before you offer up any criticism, and I hope to Goddess that at this point in your life you know the different between criticism and cattiness.
If you do come to Cabaret de Caliente, please keep in mind two of our very important rules:
1. Be Open to New Ideas
2. Don’t Bad Mouth Performers
And if you have not yet reached the point of maturity to respect these rules, I hereby invoke Dr. Bob: “Be nice or leave!”